Last Rites for the Mulberry Daze.

I have written the blog which is somewhat as much a diary of the last six months of my life.  I have decided to end today as I did this out of curiosity to see who would read it.

What is it to age in this era.  I think the best way is to keep fit and age as well as one can.  I feel that the Boomers life is somewhere between useful and useless depending on who they are trying to relate to as children or older people.  It basically comes down to self worth.

This discussion has been going on between myself and my friend for months.  Her Mother in law is now over ninety years old and has to go into a care.   It is a revelation for my friend.  It is also a spectre for her.
Our discussions have ranged from how her in law can no longer live on her own.  Maybe this is something particular to western culture.  We have gone beyond our traditional values of caring for aging family in the home.   Woman who are expected to work raise children, care for the home and aging family members.

I have discovered the obvious answer is due to ill health.   A never ending issue as we age.   My friend and her partner have gone to their holiday trailer and Mother in law is being cared for by woman who come in to help her in the home.  Next a six week break in a nursing home to wait for permanent accommodation.

As proactive as you can be about aging being on your own or in your own home can only last unless you are blessed and you reach you late eighties.   It is in the genes and personality.

So I get ready to close my blog as the trees bloom at the front of my house and life goes on.   that was in a song.   Oh bloodi oh blooda lalala and life goes one.

Here is to all our Mulberry Daze may they hold the promise of a warm fire and a glass of sherry or something warming.   My friends still call and there still be sweet music in the air. .........

Cars, Visiting offspring, Jobs, Witness, Time to revive talent.

Cars,  I seem to have a weakness for hanging on to cars till the bitter end.  My old Bonneville, a Pontiac has been through the ravages of time.   So much needs to be repaired that it is almost time to say goodbye.
The body looks good but the engine is eating gas.  The outlay for a newer car is also a pressing problem.
I feel I should go and see a man I trust at the dealership where it was purchased and ask the inevitable question,  is it worth the repair?   Who knows, but I bet it is a three thousand dollar repair?  Poor old girl!

My eldest offspring in visiting.   I was somewhat annoyed at  before  came home.     I just had a day that even I couldn't have predicted.    Offspring is struggling to come to terms with the pressure to reach an academic goal and worry at the same time about  future career.  The studies he is doing is in the old country.   The work seems that it might come in the future from there but he feels that it is under paid.   My suggestion is possible the other side of the globe if he can get a job.   I say write to the university and see what they say about positions.   The eldest offspring carry the load of the family pride.

All I can say is it beats where my father went to school as a young man at the back of a hay fork on a farm.  He returned to school and got his junior matriculation.  My Father was proud of that accomplishment.   I tell offspring who is headed for a doctorate but.  Go due something else if you want to, the answer well it is too late.  I say not to late at thirty to late at sixty.  I will have a holiday when visit is over.

Jobs now other offspring partner maybe headed out of town for a job in States.   Partner very artistic but still young.   It is a worry, one offspring is losing partner.  This one is returning to school and the friend is going out of town.   I never knew raising family so much concern.   Can't imagine what people felt 100 years ago when family left for new country which is what happen to my Grandmother as a ten year old left her Mother with family for North America.   How awful to never see her family again.   At least we have Internet.

Driving home today from a family outing I was about to make a turn on to a  faster road and a car turning at the light didn't see a SUV travelling up a hill at a slight higher rate of speed.  The light was yellow when the one car made the turn then bang!  The grey sedan the front end was all over the road.  The radiator was smashed and the bumper was off.   From where we were looking from it was over in an instance.

A drive behind the grey car jumped out and started to blame the SUV driver.   I said it is too late and tried to find out if both parties were all right.   Then I said to them call the police and waited a few more minutes but gave me information to the driver who had been hit.  Then left.  
It was a bad intersection and a driver in a SUV who probably had his foot down on the gas going up a hill.  

As soon as I got back the police officer called and wanted a statement.   I told her what I saw and she asked would I be willing to go to court well since I was the only other witness I said yes but hope like heck it does not come to that.  Basically driver's drive too fast and our roads give them the option,  The roads are wide with double lanes so they take advantage of it.

I am going to make this my second last blog as Saturday is the day I have been leading up to for the last six months.

I have booked a table for the race track which is full since it is 'Kentucky Derby Day' and they will broadcast the race.   I will just enjoy our horses race.  Having a grandparent who was a  jockey and a Dad who wanted to be one.  I am a horse lover and love the races.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for a better table as I called and booked late.  Lunch is part of the day.
I have to say we have one of the best tracks on this side of the Atlantic.   A  tradition to maintain.
Our champion was Northern Dancer and a true winner in his day.  His statue is outside the track watching everyone who enters and he is still getting his picture taken.

Slowly winding down, wood drive in the cemetery, radio times, bed quatro

I have decided to end this blog in May as it has been six months of blogging.    It is the beginning of a new era for me.   I will try and write about three more blogs, one each week until the first week of May.

Yesterday, after burning through our last lot of wood when a neighbour cut down a tree, we decided to we needed to get more or face a shortage.   The friend I have who lives in the country is a long way away for us to drive to pick up a load of wood.    So we decided to check a favourite source our local and some what historical cemetery.   As drove along the road on the south side we seemed to stop a lot of wood ready to be taken on cleared.   We drove around the roads of the cemetery itself to get to the wood but could only pick over some pieces as it was soft wood and some pieces to long to fit in the car.  We decided to drive on the north side and across which is actually under a bridge to the western side.   This property now as it is the city must make the property developers wince from the size of it.   Thankfully it is also an tree sanctuary.  It gives the city some much needed oxygen.  

After our drive,  we went to the lowest ravine area and found a pile of wood chips then got out of the car and there it was a huge amount of wood.  A lot of large trees that had been taken down but some wood was scattered around for the taking.   Happily we loaded the car and headed home with our find.   Thankful for the preservation a cemetery can be to plants and animals and to people who love a fire in the cool weather.

I have become a radio person.  I know longer have television cable etc.   I find myself listening to radio on a daily basis.  I have a few stations I switch to to suit my mood.   In the morning I sometimes first listen to the news channel then switch it to a station geared for people my age.  I sometimes flick over to the classical or Jazz stations.   If I am sick of the rest I put on the French language station which has some really interesting music.  It is my idea of a crossword puzzle to listen in French and get the gist of the conversation.  I am determined to go to the library and pick up French children's books and work on vocabulary.   It is better then crosswords which I find annoying.  I am glad that radio hasn't totally gone the way of the dinosaur.

Over the winter I have slowly developed a problem.  We now have bed quatro.   That is myself and my partner and Fred at my feet and now Rooster has decided except on nights when he wants to join my offspring.   This isn't comfortable and they mostly like to sleep at the end of where I sleep.  Fred is a small cat built for serious mouse chasing.  Rooster is another story.  He is double at least Fred's size.  When he is lying down he does become somewhat compact.  However I have a cat bed in the room and they ignore it.  I have a pad beside the bed and they ignore that.  What can you do when it is half love and warmth.   One leg comes out the side and another squeezes between cats.

Strange weeks, Time to say adieu, Easter.

I have just been through some strange weeks.  I do read my stars and wasn't prepared for the odd week or so I have had.

One friend is looking after he Dad in palliative care, one friend and her partner have signed his 91 year old Mother into a nursing home for 54 days will they have a wedding in the Dominican.  Her grand daughter.  My partner has discovered he has a job looking for elevators to film in for a possible game/reality show pilot.

My offspring and I fell out for the millionth time.  Offspring was hear on the weekend and looked old for his age.   I blame computers that the kids never seem to get off of.  I thought a comment was made at dinner that sleep was an issue.   I sent a message saying he should see the doctor is he was having trouble.
I got a reply to leave me alone.   That is the offspring I have worried over for years who still keeps me awake at night.  Talented intelligent,  sometimes you get the feeling that you have nothing to say.   I see offspring as the beautiful baby, sweet child and the young person making his way in the world.  Now he is a man the concern doesn't end and you are always a parent.   Offspring sees an interfering mother unit from another planet.  You can't win.

Adieu.  This is for my friend's Father Eric who is in the last stages of cancer.  At eighteen he was in the Indian army as an officer near the place they found bin Laden.  It is now Pakistan.  This was WWII.   He was from a small town on the edge of Wharfedale in Yorkshire called Otley.   His Dad had been the local shoemaker and repairman.  His Mother was the quietest woman I think I have ever meet.   Above his house was the Chevin talked about in Ikley moor bar tat.   I was there when I was eighteen years old.  He came back and tried to finish his degree in chemistry but quite to get work then marry his sweetheart Kathleen.   They married and a year later their daughter arrived.  They both felt they should immigrate.  The war, the struggle to make a living and the desire for a new life in Canada or Australia.   Like a lot of Yorkshire people of that era, it was Canada.  Eric is also the Father of a son and now there are two grand daughters.   A life spent working at Underwriter's Laboratories.   Eric and Kathleen rented a house in a little village on the edge of a bit city.  It was a place where Yorkshire people had immigrated to before WWI.   Their home has been a welcoming place for friends, children and neighbours.    They had a cottage on a tiny lake that was near one of the tiny towns of in cottage country.   They sent their daughter to be educated in a London acting school.  Sold the cottage and bought the house they where in on the side of a lovely park.    In recent years, they cared for their two little grand daughters in their late seventies.   Now are both are mid eighties.  Eric has only a few days to live.   A life well lived, quietly in ones own way.  Godspeed Eric.

Easter, I have survived this holiday after two or three days of cleaning, on day of shopping and on the day, cooking and serving and cleaning up.   Everyone enjoyed there meal and got Easter treats.   I had not planned to spend more days cooking and cleaning but needs would have.   I guess with one offspring and his partner away the holiday is quieter.   One holiday down and next one May 24th.  Victoria Day.

The Australian's who never fail to be original have decided to adopt a new creature and replace the Easter Bunny with a Binny rat or something to that effect to give it a more OZ flavour.  I saw all right.

      

  

Difficult friends, Zen in Rome, To sleep or not to sleep, old car and gas prices.

My closest friend has just asked me to write her a reference to a Nanny agency as a relief person.   We have been friends since we were in high school.   I felt really certain that the only answer I could give her was a no.  For a while I have been telling her to deal with her stress issues.   In all the appropriate ways possible, take a yoga class etc.   She has turned a deaf ear to everything.   A few weeks ago she stayed at at my house and  set my electric kettle on the top of the stove and turned it on, not a good thing to do.  She also set her Mother's oven mitts on the ring of her stove which was on.   About a week ago we took another friend to lunch for her birthday.  I talked to my friend as she needs to get a job about taking a class to help her get work.  Her remark to me was that she was too old to study.   She has never been in Guiding, or taken first aid courses or an after school babysitting course.  She likes children and has baby sat her nieces.  At the moment she is helping her aged parents and under considerable stress as her Father is sick.   I left a long message on her  answering machine to explain why I didn't feel comfortable giving her a reference.   My offspring summed it up best if you are too old to read a book/study then you are too old to babysit children.   My friends motive is to make money and with the stress in her life, add to the stress of being in a stranger's house with a stranger's child.  I think I will pass on that one.

I have found the best mystery series actually it was my partner the library sleuth.  He found a new series set in Rome abut a Venetian detective called Aurelio Zen.   It is too good.   The setting, the stories, clever dialogue and the clothing and characters.  It reminds me of the movie Italian Job combined with Two for the Road that kind of cool, low key, a bit flashy.   I was delighted with each of the three shows made.   Out of curiosity I looked up the main actor, Rufus Sewell.  Middle age been in lots of good shows.   There was an interview on one of the day shows.  The BBC, new head cancelled it after three shows.   No that can't be true.   I just hope they get a new network to pick it up.   That was one of the dumbest things a BBC producer has ever done.  Did they turn down the Beatles also?

I have just had a week of sleepless nights two but it felt like more.  I have thought it might be due to being on the computer late at night with my habit of reading newspapers.   I talked to my friend about it as she has the same experiences.  It must also be a part of  the female aging process.   I live in fear of one of these nights.   having a snoring husband doesn't help and now with one less bedroom in the house that isn't good either.   At least spring is almost here and I can get out for a walk to help.   I will also have to do the inevitable spring clean!

Our gas prices have gone up I know they have gone up in Europe also.   Our car which I is a wonderful although now aged mechanical beast is going through gas at an alarming rate.   My car is named Bonnie because she is a Bonneville, a Pontiac the largest of the Pontiac that are now not being made.   She is a great car  very safe,  but needs serious work on her.   I need to go and get a new vehicle of a smaller variety like a Pontiac Wave or something of that ilk.  One so my partner can have a car with better mileage and we can either keep Bonnie as a spare to go grocery shopping, or for my partner to  drive to work and let her sit all day in the parking lot.   Sometimes you have to face reality and give the older appreciated things in your life a semi retirement also.

Lunch in the Beach, Cats, Car , Housework, H&S

I managed to escape yesterday to have lunch with my friend in the Beach neighbourhood that I and my friends enjoy the shops.  The friend in particular, lives in this area although north of the main street.   The nicest part is the pub we go to.  It is called the Lion on the Beach, cute title.   Our pubs have been taken over by franchises which are not my idea of real pubs and of course being in North America we get sports bars that have sports on the multiple televisions.  It is nice to go to an old fashioned pub.

My friend surprised me and order wine with lunch.  It was a bit early for me and I couldn't join her but was happy for a salmon fillet with rice and mixed vegetables.   I am not supposed to eat a lot of meat although I do eat it.  I try and go for chicken and turkey to help with my arthritis.   I got it early.  Family inheritance.   We chatted about what was going on and what we were doing.  She wanted to go to the local Beauty supply place and get some special hair I think conditioner.  I wanted to just look around.  This street has many shops of interest.  I bought  tea a white tea to help with my now imposed diet.   I also got an African herbal tea with lemon for my friend who is dealing with ALS.
Then we walked back towards the Food land Grocery store and I bought a pork stuffed roast.  I do buy meet and freeze it until I decide to cook it.  I pick meat up on sale so I get  good deals.
Then we walked back to the car which was a distance and it was cool out but it made me feel healthier.  Like a lot of cold countries, we are stuck indoors and some days we just don't get out.   I think we would hibernate if it was possible.

I got into the car and my friend, said she was going out to her parents as she is caring for them or helping them.   I said had it not been so late as I had to get home and get my partner his dinner.  He was home sick and in bed.

I did drive her to one subway.   It was just a nice afternoon for both of us.

I am having a problem.  Freddie is a good boy and likes to sleep on the end of my bed at my feet which isn't totally comfortable but he is so content that I give way.  Now we have, Rooster things have gotten problematic.  Rooster thinks he deserves this special treatment also and he has decided that I am his woman also.   The other night I rubbed my foot along Rooster's back and got a claw in the bottom of my foot.  I didn't know until he did that which cat it was.   Last night, there they were, both on the bed  exactly where my feet go.   My legs were actually feeling cramped from our sharing arrangement.  The only good thing is my partner is an early bird and the cats go with him for food in the morning.  I finally get some sleep.  The other three occupants of my bed are all male, and  inconsiderate of the need to relax.  I can't imagine the Queen, allowing her cat although I think it would be impossible to have cats, with her little dogs, of which she has about four.   I sure can't see her allowing them in the royal bedroom.  
She has enough rooms for bedrooms for her dogs.   With the Palaces, she has I think I would have a few cats around for the mice, that must be fun to track them, maybe that is why she also has security cameras.

Car,  my poor old car and I do love it has seen better days and is in need of a lot of work.   I have a guilty vice I look at used cars I would like to own.  Every now and again I find a really good one and of course can't afford.   Didn't I find one today.  Low mileage and my favourite car dealership.   it is about three years old and the price although seems high is not bad for this type of a vehicle.  I have a phobia about small cars.   I feel if I am going to be safe I must be in a car with a front and a back with enough space to withstand a crunch on both ends and with any luck air bags in the middle.   I do feel bad about my present car but I am not sure it is worth continuing on with the engine problems and the other issues it has.  Now if I can just come up with the money in time to get this new vehicle.   For me cars are about performance.   I know that is a guy thing.  I had too many guy cousins.   You couldn't look like  a dumb girl driver in front of them.   My Father taught me to drive, short of a few driving lessons.  My offspring thinks my driving isn't very good but she was impressed when we hit ice and I drove it out of the way of another car.  She says you can really drive in a tough situations.    I can dream of my new car .   It was nice though.

H&S is Heart and Stroke, one of our big fund raising organization for health.  I have been organizing canvassers to collect for them.  So far I have got back six of my ten fund raisers kits but have to call the rest in this week.  Each month is a new campaign.  March is now,  the one for Cancer research, so it is time to get the money into them.   To be quite honest I have had enough of dealing with  the fund raisers.   They know they only have so much time to collect.  I am not good at molly cuddling them.   I  had a Dad who spent six years in the army I was brought up to  just get it done.   This week it is back to calling the last four and then going to their houses to get their envelopes.  Hopefully by next week I will have this out of the way and find a new volunteer project.  I have three I am interested in, arthritis society, osteoporosis society and the Red Cross.    It is useless at our age to pretend we just have to do nothing to make the world a better place, sitting around is a waste of time.

Sunday and a fire, Offspring shopping, College friends, Cemetery wood.

It is my favourite day of the week Sunday.    I like to get up and listen to the CBC choral music program.  Wonderful voices.   I like to have tea and read emails them make breakfast.   I just like the slow pace of the day.

My partner went and got wood for the fireplace.  We have a lovely old fireplace with a brick front and a wooden mantel.   I put my picture of what looks like the Amalfi coast with houses and boats, over the fireplace although I would prefer a picture of Wasaga or a painting of that beach.   I have old furniture but it is good quality and too many magazines and a bunch of library books around a corner chair with the phone next to it.   I also want to get rid of the furniture but it has to wait.  Sunday rolls on with phone calls and possible friends to see in the week.  The fire burns and sizzles.   I email friends then have another cup of tea or ginger drink.   It is the best way to spend a Sunday, relaxing.

Offspring shopping.   My offspring, went to the store with a friend.  I tell them not to go to this store as the prices are high.  They go as the food is good and the store products are good.   They comes back and complains about the bill.   I say to them well you know not to go there but they still go.   We can go to stores with almost the same products and get better deals.  You can only tell them it is like the horse you lead to water but can't make it drink.

College friends.  I go on the social network site and feel disappointed it is almost to late for us to use it except for family and offspring.   I check and find a college friend and try and add her as a friend.  I don't hear back.  As far as I know she has never had offspring or married.   Do I hear anything no. College was a long time ago and people at our age feel I think conspicuous using this site.   What the heck, we can grow old and think old or we can grew and feel younger.   We laugh at our foolishness.   What is a few words or photos amongst friends.   I do use it to complain about our somewhat nasty prime minister and other government issues.  That is good also.   What is the point of fuming in silence better to let it out.  I come from a tradition of good complainers.   We talk through issues, it keeps one alive and ready for the challenge.

Where we live is a very large actually there are two cemeteries,  one goes from our main street to the next main street and then to the high street near where we live.    The best part about this place is the trees and it is full of historical graves including Prime Minister Mackenzie King, he was alive during the second world war.   It is a arboretum with every type of tree you can imagine with imports, also.   It is nice to walk through when you are in the mood.  I can't say it is my favourite place as my very good friend who died very young is there and I can't help think of her when I walk through it.   However my partner parents, my in laws are also buried there and he loves to walk through it.  I am more the history buff and there are many historic names either relating to the city and sometimes the country.   Maybe that is also why  I find it harder to enjoy the walk, history is real to me.   This morning he did go over but for another reason with so many trees you do get them breaking and falling down and he had found one worth trying to bring home for the fire.   He couldn't lift it it was too large and he said he didn't have the right type of saw to go through it.   We did get a few pieces that are now burning in the fireplace.  One piece of hard wood has been going for nearly two hours amazing.    Fire and the fireplace is the only way to get through a winter even if you use the ones from  historic wood.